($meth, $url, $protocol) = split /\t/;

IN FUTILITY, BECAUSE
THE UNITED ARMED PENGUIN FRONT NEITHER EXISTS NOR PARTAKES IN
ANY EXISTENCE-LIKE ACTIVITIES EXCEPT FOR THE OCCASIONAL VISIT TO ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT
SEAFOOD BARS OR SUSHI RESTAURANTS. IT IS LIKEWISE RIDICULOUS TO
ASSUME THAT THE METACARTOONIST COULD BE UNDER THE CONTROL OF
THE UNITED ARMED PENGUIN FRONT DOES NOT EXIST. ANY ATTEMPT
ON THE PART OF THE METACARTOONIST COULD BE UNDER THE
CONTROL OF THE METACARTOONIST COULD BE UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE METACARTOONIST COULD BE UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE UNITED ARMED PENGUIN FRONT DOES NOT EXIST AND THUS CAN EXERT NO SUCH CONTROL.